So far away...

I had been trying to ring home, tried and tried and out of my frustation I had decided to just sit back and did nothing. I'd been trying to e-mail my frens, but it seemed that I was so out of place. I guess my e-mail was so outdated cause I didn't know what they were up to and so what to write in my email or what to reply if they e-mailed me back. I'd been trying to go home, to attend my best friend's wedding, my brother in law's wedding, to see my niece, but it seemed that I hadn't try hard enough. I am still trying to make myself realize that I had lost two of my grands in the past two years when I was away from home.

I am so far away..

I was reading a few of my friends' blog and little that I know, while I was here, some of them have got married and have kids, some had to go through the tragedy of losing their parents or having a member of their family becoming a victim of sickness. Death and birth stories filled the blog spots. Some were talking about their career and how life was so wonderful and so not to be missed, while some others were writting about their frustation, the boredom of life and how time preserve nothing by pain. Some of them were probably just like me, killing my time writing a blog hoping for a self remedial effect from having to let every frustations out from my soul. Well that if I wrote with honesty. Cause I know we sometime lied in our writing. We were haunted by the negative immediate feedback from others or maybe from ourself. No silly fooling myself around anymore! Sad to say.. I feel that I've skipped so many pages of my life's story. The fact that I was not there when those writting were written by my frens, family etc.. It makes me feel so far away. I have purposely or unknowingly detached myself from my life source, yeah.. their love and supports.

I guess it's time for me to reconnect. Gambateee!